One of the largest changes I have seen in myself as I struggle to complete the transformation from being focussed on myself to conducting myself as a class act is my ability to tolerate and forgive others for their self-indulgence.
A frequent, convenient and effective apology mantra I find myself citing is that we all (struggle to) play with the cards we are dealt.
Some of us start out with a full house - productive societies, functional and loving parents, cohesive communities, forward-thinking role models. These are treasures whose value is both immense and difficult to measure.
Others are not so fortunate, and as they struggle to cobble together the kind of stable base that the fortunate among us were blessed to begin with, they make painful and sometimes repetitive mistakes.
The road to functionality is through a minefield, and it is tempting to deride those who resort to the more basic coping mechanisms, who have failed like so many before them and beyond them who failed despite all efforts to adopt more advanced techniques.
But no one, not even the most seemingly despicable person, is deserving of derision. They deserve respect. They are playing with the cards they were dealt, just like oneself. It is easier to build a robust structure when your footing is a solid foundation. And those who start with such head starts are demonstrably more inclined to success. But the others are not to be dismissed, derided or disrespected. No matter how despicable their behaviour appears upon manifestation, it is easily ascribed to the paucity of the cards in their hand. Contempt for the outcome of their actions is best directed at their origin.
And if you, like so many among us, are one of those who are struggling with a dubious hand, take heart: no one is beyond salvation. It takes a focussed and determined effort, but anyone - and everyone - is capable of finding their way out of the corner into which they have painted themselves and doing the difficult work of shoring up their base and building up to the sky.
