Blue Monday

My sister K. asked me this morning how I was, where I was on the downer scale, from 1 to 10. I told her three, but subsequently I would estimate it more like a two.

Feelings are not reality. That has been my mantra since last week, courtesy of LD, who wrote that, and more, in a very helpful email to me in which she also invited me, when I am ready, to engage with her in a "visioning" exercise. Right now it is so hard to see the light. And yet even in these bleak days I have had occasional good ones, where my mood was completely the opposite. And it is just as hard when I am up like that to remember what it feels like to be down like this, as it is now to even imagine a future where I am happy.

Gratitude Lists

LD suggested that I start doing a daily gratitude list in order to remind myself of the things I should be thankful for and which ought to make me feel a bit more blessed and a little less cursed. This is the initial list I sent her yesterday.

• I am grateful for my God-given blessing of living in relative comfort in a technologically advanced society.
• I am grateful for my sister and her unconditional support for me whenever I need it.
• I am grateful for my many friends who selflessly and generously give me their time, their ears, and their shoulders.
• I am grateful for my innate talents of intelligence and introspection.
• I am grateful for my work, for the rewards and challenges it continually offers me.
• I am grateful for all the opportunities I have been given which have enabled me to achieve the successes I have.